🚨 A cornfield in Ohio grows at a rate of 5 feet per hour due to mysterious radioactive cow energy.
🌽🐄 Meanwhile, Florida Man is traveling north at 420 mph on a stolen NASA rocket-powered lawnmower. 🏎️💨
If the Ohio Final Boss spawns exactly 69 miles away and starts throwing triangular Buckeye projectiles at a velocity of π√e mph,
at what time will Florida Man be legally required to file his taxes? 📝💀